Words for my daughters

Updated: Sep 6, 2019

Things I wish my mother told me...

Always carry chocolate and tissues

Because broken hearts will come but as you down the bag of Kit-Kats, grab a tissue, wipe your tears for tomorrow is another day that is waiting to tell a new story.


Always have a camera near by

Because life will pass you in an instant and even when we think we will never forget this moment; a new one is sure to take it place and you don't want to lose them forever for each moment is a grain of sand that is making a beach called you.


Photograph your own smile for it too will change in time. It will frown with disappointments, pucker for a kiss, and drop at a first hard blow. It will age with the lines of stress but wear those lines with pride for they prove you in fact lived.


You will see that time is a thief and it will take away your outer beauty, it will rob you of your youth but it will also allow you to reflect on a face that battled many wars, yet still stands tall.


Photograph loved ones, often.

Never let time steal a smile that was meant for only you, or the look of love in ones eyes that you know is sincere through their gaze for one day when they too are taken from you, those photographs will be the only armor to shield you from the pain you will feel from their loss but it will empower you in the knowledge that they lived and somehow in this crazy world, met and loved you.


Life isn't like the movies.

You will never have magical powers or a cape to bring life's bounty to you, but you do have an invisible cape called integrity, perseverance and character because in there lies your superpower but its up to you what you want it to be built of for it can be made of sweat and tears and be strong as iron or of a fake facade made of dust.


Know that cape will dirty over the years. It will dirty from some of the same people you are trying to help but cannot because they are too busy standing on it to keep you from flight, but don't let them! Know dirt comes out in the wash and you baby were born to fly.


Don't forget knee pads.

Life will beat you till you're broken and kick you to your knees more times than you can count so high. The gravel will rip and cut you till you bleed making you just want to give up. DON'T you dare give up!


Wear those knee pads, take your blows, fall to you knees time and time again because every time you fall upon your knees, you are in the exact position to pray where you will find the courage to rise once again.


Pray often, pray with all your heart. God is not a drive up window and you shouldn't expect your answers to come in a neat bag filled with all the fixing's. Sometimes you may think he didn't hear you at all. He hears you. Trust that in time you will see he was listening all along, and maybe you didn't get exactly what you wanted but I'm sure you'll receive exactly what you needed and be thankful for the experience.


Give thanks to everything. Even the mean girl in school who hurt your feelings, for there is a lesson in there, but also know that most people who have hurt in their heart don't know what to do with it except throw it to another. Receive it for them, accept it because its not about you its about them, and be thankful for the opportunity to help someone on their journey through this crazy world. But that doesn't mean be a doormat. You can take ones blows but if the blows keep coming, learn when to walk away as well. Sometimes learning when to walk is in fact the lesson.


Listen to music

Its a timeship that can transport you back in time to a first date, a first kiss, first broken heart. Like photographs they can let you relive a moment you thought time stole away.

It'll remind you of a time you thought life would never be okay, that you'd never feel happy again. Yet, there you will be bobbing around singing your heart out doing just fine.


Stay mentally fit.

No matter how much you work out your hands will always be too small to save the world. No matter how pretty you are or how fit you become YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE HIM/HER/THEM and no you can't save them either!


But you need to be mentally strong enough to know it. I know you'll still try anyway and that's okay. Thats what makes us beautifully human is our capacity to love and want to help another in need. But your heart will still get broken more times than I could ever want but thats why we had the chocolate and the tissues in the first place.


Love anyway.

Love with all your heart and being as long as you understand that not everyone will love you back and thats okay..


Some will even lie and say they do or hurt you just because they can while others won't even care enough to attempt to lie and simply not feel any love at all for you. Love anyway because love is the greatest weapon we have to see you through the trials of life. So smile even at the mean ones, they need it the most.


Love will hurt you at times, it can deceive you and make you wish you had no heart at all. but thats not really true. Even the most painful memory is better than never having had the experience in the first place. Rather loved and lost than not to have loved at all? Something like that but its true. Id rather feel pain of my losses than lose the entire good that came before it.


Even when there wasn't any good from it there was a lesson and those life lessons are priceless in the long term for your soul, so love away.


Not everyone will like you but its not your job to convince them.

If you are true to ones self and love unconditionally, the right people will find you in this world. They are your tribe.


They will make you stronger to face whatever comes next.

As you pick through all the bad apples in this life, know that they too were once not so bruised and beaten and sometimes the softest apples can make the best jam. Don't judge at first glance. Many people wear masks to shield them from more pain, or heartache. Give time to peel back the layers before giving up on them. The hardest people are usually the ones who loved and lost more than the others and are worth the extra effort.


Defeat

Know that word well. You will learn the taste of it much in life.

Sports are perfect examples where some may be faster, or naturally taller, thinner, athletic. But if you always want something hard enough, defeat can never take residency in your mind too long.

Allow defeat to be the kick in your ass to come back harder the next time, and the time after that if need be until you conquer it and exceed your own expectations.


Always remember that everyone you come across is forging though their own journey. Some will conquer things before you, some you may never conquer at all. Its the process of learning, trying and growing that matters as you move ahead not only the end result. Just make your results obtainable. Raise the bar high and go for it with all your might just know not all things happen on your 1st, 2nd or 100th try but keep on trying.


Beauty fades, but ones character can only grow, strengthen and develop through these trials and tribulations but its up to you the nature of your character. If you can look yourself in the mirror and know your truth and still be able to live with it, then you are halfway there my dear.

I know you are of me and your father and we are warriors who've battled more wars than you have years and together we made a masterpiece. Live your life as one.


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